English Jokes SMS

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English Jokes Status Messages and SMS
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Updated one year ago
Boy: I can’t marry you. My family is not permitting me.

Girl: Who’s in your family?

Boy: My wife and children.

By: 9875288111 # 12
Like [52] Dislike [16] View Shared: 16 times

Teacher: Tell me the name of any Microsoft Product?
Bunty: MS Excel
Lucky: MS Word
Bittu: MS Powerpoint
Pappu after thinking a lot, “MS Dhoni”!

By: Charan # 24
Like [70] Dislike [17] View Shared: 31 times

In a classroom Teacher asks a student to count from 0 to 10. Student : 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10
Teacher : Where is 5?
Student : Yesterday I heard in the news that 5 died in a car accident…..

By: Anju # 47
Like [63] Dislike [27] View Shared: 13 times

Two factory workers are talking
The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off."
The man replies, "And how would you do that?"
The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.
The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?"
The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb."
The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off."
The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?"
The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."

By: Deepak # 95
Like [28] Dislike [10] View Shared: 14 times

A man was pulled over for driving too fast,
even though he thought he was driving just fine.
Officer: You were speeding.
Man: No, I wasn't.
Officer: Yes, you were. I'm giving you a ticket.
Man: But I wasn't speeding.
Officer: Tell that to the judge! (The officer gives man the ticket.)
Man: Would I get another ticket if I called you a jerk?
Officer: Yes, you would.
Man: What if I just thought that you were?
Officer: I can't give you a ticket for what you think.
Man: Fine, I think you're a jerk!

By: Awadhesh # 101
Like [21] Dislike [13] View Shared: 4 times

A: Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?
B: Yes I am, I married the wrong woman.

By: Sujit # 59
Like [22] Dislike [8] View Shared: 5 times

U luv sumone… u marry sumone else. The one u marry becomes ur wife or husband & the one u loved becomes the password of your emai id…!

By: Gaurav # 112
Like [87] Dislike [10] View Shared: 7 times

What is the height of Flirting? It’s When your love letter starts with: TO WHOMSOEVER IT MAY CONCERN

By: Nitin Dhiman # 125
Like [39] Dislike [11] View Shared: 1 times

Another Moon?… Possible Another Sun?… Possible Another Sky?… Possible Another person Like U?… Impossible ‘Coz God can’t make the same Mistake twice.

By: Rahul # 17
Like [40] Dislike [9] View Shared: 7 times

Dear reciever, I’m a Blonde Virus. I’m not so advanced, so pls delete all ur files urself and also help me to spread by sending to all. Thank U !

By: Anju # 47
Like [30] Dislike [5] View Shared: 2 times

A motorist hit a sparrow. He took d unconscious bird, put in cage with bread & water. Bird wakes up, luks around & screams: Salakhen! My God! I’ve killed the motorist.

By: Nirati # 45
Like [41] Dislike [14] View Shared: 1 times

Kiss Is The Key Of Love,
Love Is The Lock Of Marriage,
Marriage Is The Box Of Children,
And too many Children means more Problem for the world
So Please Stop Kissing & Save the world for a while…

By: Sujit # 59
Like [64] Dislike [6] View Shared: 7 times

When a Guy does Something Wrong…
Girl : You broke my Favorite Lamp !!!
Boy : It was an Accident… I didn’t mean to..!!
Girl : I can’t believe you did this.
Boy : I’m Sorry.. !! :/ :/ :/
When a Girl does Something Wrong…
Boy : You Lost My Dog??!!!
Girl : It was an Accident… I didn’t mean to..!!
Boy : I can’t believe you did this.
Girl : I already feel bad about it..!! Stop making me feel Worse..!!
Boy : I’m Sorry.. !! :/ :/ :/

By: Kunal # 29
Like [74] Dislike [7] View Shared: 5 times

Teacher: Behind every successful man there is a women
what do we learn from this?
Student: we should stop wasting time in studies and find a woman.

By: Animesh # 107
Like [63] Dislike [5] View Shared: 8 times

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